Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I have a lot of issues and need some answers.?

I live with my mom brother and grandmother. My grandmother and I hate each other. People may say that I'll get over it and that she's my grandmother and that they know that I love her, but I really truely hate this lady. I have dreams about killing her and when I wake up I feel fine and whenever I daydream about killing her I feel like a burden was lifted from atop of me. I know this sounds really harsh but I feel like if I don't give all the details then people would just keep on telling me the same things over and over. Another thing is that I suffer from really bad depression I'm only 15 and I know I should be going through all this stuff an I'm only depressed when I'm around her, we don't even have to be arguing and I'll just become Overwhelmed with wrath and have to leave. I continuously tell my mom that either she or I have to go but I know this is all difficult for her since she's stuck in between. I can't leave to my dads house because he died when I was 6. So that's out of the question. And sometimes I think about killing myself which might be part of my depression. When I try to tell my brother what's going on he wont do anything because my grandma does everything for him so he doesn't want to ruin anything he has with her and I'm also the youngest of 7 my brother Is 25 an I also ha a sister that stayed with us but never visits anymore which means I'm stuck in this house with no car, money or licence. I sometimes feel like running away but that's not a good idea especially not in the place where I live. All this affects me school wise too because I begin to stare off and think about my issues while my teachers are teaching. There are many things that my grandma would do to tick me off and sometimes I try to ignor her but it's a nonstop job for her she has white hair and my seem like an angel but she's the worst. I'm not saying that everyone that meets her hates her but everyone that really knows her and that's been treated like I've been treated by her.

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